THE SCROLL: This Is A Test Of The Shenanigator Broadcast System….
Notes On The OG Hawk Tuah, Mass Depopulation Psychosis, Pikachu, Ghost Rider, Coke Jaws, Nonexistent Ketchup, Pipette Savants, The Folgers Switch, Abusive Balloons, Poorly Crafted Wishes, and more....
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A Clown Riding A Shark Eats A Llama….
Catholic Nuns Tend To Live Longer Than Giant Tortoises…. Wait, What?!
Robinson, K. (2024). 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex. WebMD.
The Folgers Switch
Happy Fucking Whatever
Humor Is Both A Form Of Wisdom And A Means Of Survival
Let’s be clear: I don’t lament the outburst.
The televised outburst (from literally anyone), on a long enough timeline, was inevitable given tension, distrust, and the slow decay of decorum post-JFK and Vietnam.
Someone - anyone - was going to eventually lose their shit and pop off on national television.
(Which I also do not lament - it was not this fairy tale land of happy morality that everyone NOW makes it out to be in nostalgia-clouded retrospect, like some kind of psychotic, emotionally devoid Disneyland where everyone was fulfilled playing house and wanted for nothing else ever. It was The Valley of the Dolls and The Stepford Wives and something had to give - so it did. That’s exactly why it was so easy to infiltrate society with these political agendas - well-crafted agendas are implemented and propelled by feeding off of preexisting strife. It worked because people were unfulfilled and unhappy and it made them extremely vulnerable to thought hijack - same as now. If I had to choose a time period to go back to, it would not be a return to 50s or early 60s Cold War-era vapid consumerism and rampant repression. It would be a return to the more relaxed early 90s, for sure. We were finding equilibrium then, instead of this incessant, insipid hard pendulum swinging that keeps being instigated in both directions to intentionally make everything worse by deliberately knocking everyone off-balance and putting everyone at each other’s throats.)
I don’t even particularly care about the outburst at all other than that it was what made the execs realize that people will tune in to rubberneck a train wreck - and they figured out how to capitalize on that.
That was the critical moment. It just so happened to be Buckley and Vidal. It could have been anyone, really.
The moment the execs put two and two together about the human propensity to voraciously consume schadenfreude was the moment society devolved into Warhol’s furthest possible “15-minute seeking” illogical conclusion. And those desires could be leveraged.
Real time audience participation in OJ’s Bronco chase was merely the nail in the coffin or the icing on the cake, depending upon your point of view.
Ironic that he was hiding out in the childhood bedroom of Kim Kardashian right before it happened.
It feels like all of life is scripted sometimes, the way these collapses and origin stories beget other collapses and origin stories.
Like Wernher Von Braun calling the future king of Mars an “elon.”
Scripted.
Ketchup. Doesn’t. Exist.
Mass Depopulation Psychosis
[In response to “While, on one hand, poisoning the atmosphere is possibly the stupidest thing that the elites can do in order to reduce the population, I cannot say for certain that the elites do not wish to wipe themselves out along with the rest of us. After all, they aren’t exactly breeding.” -
, The Amazing Dialectical Circus, as well as a continuation of the conversations from the Expectation II section of THE SCROLL: Is Your Support Network Really A Barbed Wire Fence?, the Expectation III section of THE SCROLL: How To Start Building New Models, the Synchronization Rituals section of THE SCROLL: BREAKING NEWS: Biden’s Behavior Has Been Exactly The Same For The Past Five Years, the Uninhibited Woo Of Tarot In Reverse And The Perils of Being Unabashedly Yourself section of THE SCROLL: We Were Somewhere Around Arkham When The Rhizomatic Seusstravaganza Began To Take Hold…., and the Hyperstition section of THE SCROLL: Send In The Clowns? Don't Bother. They're HERE.......]Sasha V, great piece! I’ve been having this same issue while trying to look more deeply into hyperstition as simply a version of manifestation technique.
But you can’t dig into that topic without being met with a metric shit ton of psychotic literature regarding accelerationism, presented as some kind of warped “solution to the humanity question,” meaning that they believe achieving the singularity is a good thing because it would lead directly to the death of humanity as we know it. Undeniably psycho.
So, while I can parse that out, taking only the information I need and leaving the psychosis behind, I can’t repost any of it without feeling like I’m at odds with it ethically, specifically because I don’t want to spread psychotic ideas just because I want others to look at the potentially useful ones and have the discernment to discard the psychotic ones.
Being pleasantly surprised by the discernment of others is fine, but expecting it to happen without fail is laughable at best.
Expecting others to agree with what they don’t understand because they think it makes them sound intelligent is more likely.
And I do not want to be the reason why others may get taken in by the ideas of demented so-called “elites” who would prefer that humanity dies off completely, themselves included.
So, to your point about just how psychotic people would need to be to harm themselves as well as their targets with chemtrails… two words: Nick Land.
They would have to be THAT kind of psychotic.
And since we have an example of at least one who is flagrantly and unremorsefully spreading the point of view that he would like humanity to die… and he has a group of creepers who follow him around like puppies with a death wish and hang on his every word… we can probably assume there are more people within their demented social circles who are insane enough to wipe themselves out in order to wipe out everyone else too.
Because it’s literally what they say they want.
And when people tell me exactly who they are, I’ve learned it’s best to believe them.
Presidential Candidate Pikachu Learns How To Also Fail At Ghost Rider’s Penance Stare
Glossary. (2024). Penance Stare. Marvel Fandom Database.
Sense Memory Pipette Counting Savant II
[Continued from the Sense Memory Pipette Counting Savant section of THE SCROLL: You've Just Crossed Over Into The Twilight Zone….]
Sorry About Your Cock….
This Is A Test Of The Shenanigator Broadcast System…. We Have Developed This System To Keep You Informed In The Event Of Shenaniagns….
This concludes this test of the Shenanigator Broadcast System….
Well… So Much For That….
From
:Why We Should Stop Making Kamala Sex Jokes (and Better Focus on Her Incompetence and Idiocy)
Yeah, I was somewhat guilty of making those jokes myself, and, since Kamala sleeping her way up to the top is fact, I don’t call you to avoid mentioning facts (we shouldn’t ever be afraid of stating the FACTS loud and clear!) However, is it REALLY NECESSARY to tell of it in all the juicy detail (like, ‘Kamala likes her hot dogs whole’)? I hardly think so. It’s totally unnecessary and harms both us and our argument in multiple ways.
First of all, it’s pretty low, rude, lewd and denigrating, and makes us look like shallow, sex-obsessed incels (just like Woketards love to present us). Do we really need to give them that favor and to act like ones? We could - and should - be much better than that, and shouldn’t denigrate the whole discourse to bed level.
Second, yeah, as a gay man I maintain that it is also borderline sexist and homophobic and denigrating to women and gay men who actually like to suck dicks for love and pleasure, not for money and promotion. Why is it so? Because such denigrating jokes make sucking dicks (and overall female and gay male sexual role in bed) look like something bad, dirty, which could be done only for money and promotion (and this is certainly NOT so).
Moreover, it is denigrating also to men because if you’re saying no one will suck your dick unless paid or promoted for it, then how LOW do you actually think of yourselves? Because, again, EVERYONE, every sexually active woman or gay man would love to suck dick of a hot and fit guy (even if they’d be shy to admit it). They won’t like to suck your dick only if you’re ugly, old and fat, alas.
So, by targeting Kamala with those lewd sex jokes, you inadvertently offend women, gays and also yourselves. Now, why?
Lastly, if all I said wasn’t enough for you, Woke feminists could reverse your argument against you by saying that yeah, Kamala had to sleep her way up, but that’s solely because of patriarchy which STILL doesn’t allow women to make their careers without involving their bodies, and that’s in our ‘progressive’ age of gender equality! Now, do you really need to give your opponents such a powerful weapon?
Again, by making Kamala sex jokes, you achieve NOTHING. You only make yourselves look like shallow sex-obsessed incels, sexist and homophobic as fuck in addition, while empowering our Woke opponents by giving them a strong argument against ‘white patriarchy’ which ‘forces Black women to sleep their way up’. Now, DO WE REALLY NEED THAT? No way, for fuck sake.
Again, as you could have observed, I have nothing against rude and even offensive language. However, rude isn’t lewd, and offence isn’t always due either.
Of course consenting adults. Ew.
Aside from that, I don’t really give two shits though.
Everyone’s business is their own.
If you think you’re in a relationship with a Ferris wheel, you might want to go to therapy.
But I don’t care.
I mean, honestly, I can’t be bothered to care about it.
I’m not sure the Ferris wheel does either.
Even if you named it Bruce.
I hope the Ferris wheel is old enough…..
Wingardium Leviorca In Cocaini
[In response to the section Cocaine Sharks in THE SCROLL: You've Just Crossed Over Into The Twilight Zone…. and Dad Memes By Popular Demand: Archaeology by
]
Wait, what…?!
From
:
Donlevy, K. (2024). Killer whales sink $128K yacht in ‘terrifying’ 2-hour Mediterranean Sea attack: ‘Like watching wolves hunt.’ New York Post.
Hold up… did we just manifest this, Shenanigators?!?!
Are the whales actually on cocaine TOO………?!?!
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And thank you to everyone else who contributed to these conversations over the past few days!
Wtf is this post about? Wait, white ketchup, cocaine orcas and dildo dick police? What rabbit hole is this, Alice?
Squid Poe Crow, Word Salad Dressing......I just got an ab workout because I can't stop laughing.....now I have to make time to watch a video about white ketchup.....isn't it ketsup? or Catsup? ...Ketchup feels mandala effect'ish.....what's happening, what's Ketching Up to what? LOL! Did i make that up? I swear it said that on the bottle growing up? What year did we just travel to in some kind of Substackian Time Machine?