Writing Contest - Sentences I Never Thought I Would Say Or Hear: Volume Twelve

Dec 01, 2024

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Use one or more of these collected sentences in a story, a script, a piece of original music, or a poem that you write.
No editing the prompts. They must remain intact.
Post a link to the story, poem, music, or script you have written in the comments of this article so I can find them and so that others may enjoy reading these too.
This link you provide will serve as your “entry.”
The link must be listed in the comments of this article below in order to qualify as an entry.
I will read all of these and choose a winner. I am a human being. I promise nothing but my own subjectivity as a judge. It’s the best I’ve got, so it will have to do.
You may comment as much as you like, but only enter one piece for consideration. I only have one me, so unless one of you can clone me, you are only allowed to enter once.
The winner gets glory, bragging rights, and a free year of SFC on Substack.
You have until December 31, 2024, to submit your entry in the comments below.
After that, I will announce the winners.

And without further ado, here’s the prompt list for Volume Twelve….

My mother became a chicken torture device repair expert.
Your drip got mad rizz. No cap.
Is your Google finger broken?
You didn't have to hit me in the head with a wine bag to get me shithammered. That's an extra step.
I just had a lot of questions because it was in Swahili.
Ok. Fuck off until you come back.
The sauce will make this much less steak mittens.
I don't do frenemies. I have friends or I have bye.
Have you not heard life is a scam?
Not reasons is dumb.
Well, we’ve got psychic spies.
We have coordinated gangstalking units who annoy the subjects in untraceable, unprovable ways until they snap.
We’ll keep trying, and then we can acquire metrics on how many it takes or how weird everything has to get before they all hit their breaking points and completely relinquish their sovereignty out of mental and emotional exhaustion.
The less sense the suggestions make, the harder they seem to fight to explain the suggestions away or hold each other accountable for carrying them out.
They ridicule and ostracize the outliers themselves to bring them back into the fold.

I love that Bill Kristol is puking up repeatedly debunked lies about Trump on Twitter, and someone replied calling him a "smirking fascist hyena."
“Does drinking coffee cause neon dogenesis evangelions, Mother?”
This thing doesn’t work like it used to.
Sticking out your gyat for the rizzler, you’re so skibidi.
The evolution of my slang stopped at poltard.
Ain't no flagellation like self-flagellation 'cause the self-flagellation don't stop!
They are such fucking tard-o-matic shriek weevils.
YOLO and whatnot.
There is a clinical trial going on where Life is the placebo.
We don't have any good rants anymore. I appreciate this Gregory Corso thing. Where Ferlingetti stopped, Demi begins.
So how’s that top secret psychic super agent program going, CIA?
Nah, just destroy the records and turn them loose. It’ll sort itself out.