THE SCROLL: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis!

Notes On The MAGA Handmaid’s Tale, Old School Comedy, Stingy Bois, Expendables 4, Beet Butt, Lilith Fair, Time Machines, Memelords, Stop Motion Animation, Filming The Edge Of The World, and more....

The Starfire Codes produces an audience-supported publication with a stellar podcast, consciousness-expanding daily spiritual content, and well-researched articles on forbidden but crucial topics.

If you love our work, please join our constellation of curious minds and venture into forbidden realms of knowledge.

• Hit that like button!

• Share with fellow seekers!

• If you haven’t yet, please become a Paid Subscriber to support the cosmic quest for truth!

This is what we do full time. Thank you for all of the ways you support The Starfire Codes! It means the universe to us. 🌟

---

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis!

“Curious: does anyone here practice or have any thoughts on grounding/earthing? I try to do it if only to get out outside and literally ‘touch grass’ for a bit haha. I enjoy it. ‘Teh Science!’ seems mixed as per the usual, but literally insulating ourselves with rubber soles (souls? Is this what The Beatles meant?) from vital Earth energy does seem like something this society would do haha.” - Apollo's Lyre

“Not currently, though it's something I intend to research more. On the surface, it makes sense to me, but I need more info. I’m usually barefoot anyway.” - leithian

“Oh no! The MAGA Handmaid’s Tale barefoot woman dystopia is upon us!!!” - Apollo's Lyre

“At least I am not also pregnant. I'm a believer in electroculture, so not a stretch for me to believe grounding is beneficial.” - leithian

“Hahahah! Perish the thought! And Nonbinary Atheist Goddexx help you if you go anywhere NEAR a kitchen!” - Apollo's Lyre

“I hate having my feet closed in, and, around the house, I just find it more comfortable. It was less comfortable that time I stepped on a yellow jacket, however...” - leithian

“I've seen the photos.” - Apollo's Lyre

“I read that as deadpan delivery. Well played. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

“Yellow jacket tho! Ouch!” - Apollo's Lyre

“Hah, yeah, that sucked! Yellow jackets are total assholes. There's a meme about that somewhere.” - leithian

“Then mission accomplished! Leithian-Apollo mindlink wins again haha. They are! Them and wasps. And hornets. All of dem stingy bois except our friend the humble bumblebee. The humblebee: Friend to all nature. Maker of honey. All other stingy bois can get Raided.” - Apollo's Lyre

LMFAO.

“You may want to restrict that mindlink to one-directional operation. I cannot be responsible for anything that comes from my psyche.” - leithian

h/t Apollo’s Lyre

“Lol duly noted! Same disclaimer here.” - Apollo's Lyre

Don’t ask. You don't want to know.

“Pixies, rawrrrrr! ❤️. Someone takes him/herself way too seriously 🤣🤣🤣.” - leithian

Ballenger, J. (2015). Please stop sharing the ‘wasps are jerks’ memes. Ask an Entomologist.

“Hahaha seriously! Fuck that noise! Wasps are assholes and I’m tired of all these waspologists trying to defend their stingy buzzy bullshit. Can’t eat nothing outside without wasps being like, ‘Hey imma buzz your face like Tom Cruise on a radar tower in Top Gun and hide right inside your Mountain Dew can like a goddam creeper!’” - Apollo's Lyre

“I will now hear that wasp monologue every time I see one. 🤣” - leithian

“Haha I'd be honored 🐝” - Apollo's Lyre

h/t Apollo’s Lyre

h/t Apollo’s Lyre

“The Far Side, ahahahahahaha! Those are great.” - leithian

“😁waspologists. So what if you’re drinking a nice hard cider at a hard cider festival and a wasp or yellow jacket lands in your cider? Do you fish it out and keep drinking or ask for a (partial) new one? (Or, third option, do you go viking and drain the glass, bee and all?)” - Christopher Cook

“Sounds badass, but I'm not that hardcore.” - leithian

"POP QUIZ. WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!"

“Sandra Bullock was cute in that movie.” - Christopher Cook

“Absolutely adorable, and that movie launched her career. Haven't seen it in decades. I wonder if I'd still like it as much as I did then?” - leithian

I'm so sick of everyone saying that she and Megan Fox have Adam's apples. People need to get a life.

“How have I not noticed this??? What is wrong with people? 🤣” - leithian

“Oh man gotta leave him in there and continue drinking. Like those liquors with snakes and scorpions in them! Edit: only if non-bee stingy boi tho. I would throw a tiny life raft to the bee and then pull him or her to the glassy shores of safety, thanking the bee for its service.” - Apollo's Lyre

“If still alive, yes, rescue.” - leithian

“I have no real issue with Megan Fox, maligned though she is. I chalk that up to jealousy. Though, I do think she'd be far prettier with less makeup. That's my preference though. I don't like that artificial look, and I find the amount of makeup on her face unrealistic for certain roles she's had.” - leithian

She's beautiful. People suck.

“Probably women saying the Adam's apple thing. So many insecure females threatened by someone like her, with beautiful face and slammin' bod. I've seen maybe 2 movies she's been in. It was The Expendables 4 that I found her makeup unrealistic, but what do I know? Maybe kickass female mercenaries have flawless, artful cosmetics in combat. 🤣 Also, Expendables 4 not in any way realistic about anything, soooo, it's actually unfair for me to expect that detail to be more authentic.” - leithian

“Whoa whoa whoa. Expendables 4 was a documentary. And the events happened in real time!” - Apollo's Lyre

“Of course it is, and, yes, they did! 😂 Don't get me wrong, I love the franchise. Absolutely brilliant idea to bring together all the 80's/90's action stars.” - leithian

I have heard it from all men. It's bizarre. It's like they want every woman in Hollywood to have a secret penis.

I think ScarJo is secretly the O RLY owl.

“Would you look at that Adam’s apple on that woman!” - Apollo's Lyre

“LOL 😂😂. Some people be like, ‘You get an Adam’s apple! And you get an Adam’s apple!’” - Apollo's Lyre

"You ALL have secret penises!!!" 😃

“Crouching Tiger Hidden Penis!” - Apollo's Lyre

“Dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

“Like these people would kill to look like or date Fox or Bullock haha. Now Big Mike tho...” - Apollo's Lyre

“What am I looking at?!?! 🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

Who the fuck knows?!?! 🤣🤣🤣 I'm making sausage mushroom risotto tonight. ❤️

h/t Apollo’s Lyre

“I truly do not comprehend that.” - leithian

Me neither! LOL!

“Coming back after you two get going is like entering some surreal alternate dimension. 🤣 Apollo, well played (again) re: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis. I will never see one of my favorite movies the same way again. 🤣 Sausage? 🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

Why, yes! Sausage! 😃

“Way to keep a theme going. That sounds amazing, actually. Love a good risotto, and that's a great flavor combo. I cook with mushrooms as much as possible. I consider them as much a staple as onions and garlic. ❤️ It's been a while since I made risotto. I think I have some arborio in the cupboard.” - leithian

With baby bellas, celery, onion, parm reggiano, thyme, sage, rosemary…

“Now I'm a bit drooly. I do NOT doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!” - leithian

“Watching Grand Budapest Hotel ❤️. How does Wes Anderson make even sordid material quirkily charming?” - leithian

Because everyone in his movies seems too innocent and naive to really know what the hell is happening. And the majority of his characters are way too transactional and on the spectrum to even seem real.

They're endearing. But they have zero grasp on reality.

“That fits.” - leithian

Sausage Mushroom Risotto

“Gordon Ramsey approves. Or he just yells at you, even though it’s perfect. Because drama.” - Christopher Cook

h/t Leithian

“We had NY strips and about metric ton of beets with goat cheese and pecans in a balsamic glaze. So in 24 hours, when I think I am dying, remind me that I ate 600,000 pounds of beets.” - Christopher Cook

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Beet feces... terrifying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. However, beets and goat cheese are one of my favorite combinations. ❤️‍🔥” - leithian

CHRIS.... REMEMBER THAT YOU WILL HAVE BEET BUTT, CHRIS.........

🤣🤣🤣

“One time I forgot I had eaten beets and ended up very concerned for a few moments...” - leithian

REMEMBER THE BEETS IN YOUR BUTT! REMEMBER THE BEEEEEEETS!!!!!

“LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

CHRISTOPHER!!!!! REMEMBER THE BEETS IN YOUR BUTT! REMEMBER THE BEEEEEEETS!!!!!

h/t Apollo’s Lyre

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” - leithian

“Just another sad butt song
Rackin' my brain like crazy
Guess it's all torn up
Be it fast or slow
It doesn't let go
Or shake me
And it's all because of you…

Wow those lyrics fit way too well with minimal effort.” - Apollo's Lyre

“I discovered today that Peacock has all seasons of SNL, so I was watching a season 1 episode. When you two get going, it's a very similar dynamic... 🤣” - leithian

h/t Leithian

“Thank you! That is extremely high praise. Like I said, I'm just riffing off Demi's genius here 😁. Is that samurai delicatessen?” - Apollo's Lyre

h/t Leithian

“I don't remember! LOL. You are far too humble, always. You both riff off each other's genius, dude.” - leithian

“Hahaha.” - Apollo's Lyre

“Think it is haha.” - Apollo’s Lyre

“The episode today was Samurai General Practitioner 🤣. That whole lineup, omg, so good. Seeing Gilda Radner reminded me there's a documentary on Gene Wilder I want to watch. Another great gone far too soon.” - leithian

“‘Do you think you can break a 20?’ Lolol such a great bit. Oh speaking of Gilda and Gene have you seen ‘Haunted Honeymoon?’” - Apollo's Lyre

“Not in decades...” - leithian

“One of my favorite films of all time. Has both of em and a cross-dressing Dom DeLuise in a murder mystery comedy period piece it is everything and I love it.” - Apollo's Lyre

“I was just going to say Dom DeLuise, another comedy great.” - leithian

“YES!!! I adore that movie. Definitely! The cast was insane. I love Gilda and Gene. Both so talented and cool. So sad that we lost her so young.” - Apollo's Lyre

“I was thinking the same while watching that clip.” - leithian

Look at how he looks at her, even in a cutaway. Awwwww.

“I had the same thought! Complete adoration. ❤️” - leithian

“I know!!!! Totally agree❤❤❤” - Apollo's Lyre

“Everything I say right now, and probably for the rest of the week, comes from my butt hurt perspective. I look forward to putting this behind me and not whingeing all the time.” - leithian

“I hear ya!” - Christopher Cook

“You think your butt hurts? Imagine poor Abraham Lincoln, who actually got hammered in the ass so much... that he died of being hammered in the ass. Yes, I'm just happy I got to reference this amazing WKUK skit twice in like a week now. Jokes aside, I hope things go smoothly as possible on your way to greener pastures.” - Apollo's Lyre

Spicy beet balls for your spicy beet butt 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Oh my goodness!” - Christopher Cook

“🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

“But I am no longer worried about beet butt. I am now a machine that converts beets directly into righteous indignation.” - Christopher Cook

“So that's the secret fuel, is it? 🤣🤣🤣” - leithian

“One of them. Also small pebbles. And wing dip.” - Christopher Cook

“Wing dip fuels shenanigans!” - leithian

---

For When Cthulhu Club Gets The Munchies….

---

In Which Librarian of Celaeno Uses A Time Machine To Take Me To Lilith Fair… And A Wager Ensues….

---

Let The Real You Out So The Memelords Can Memelord….

---

New Vocabulary For The Perplexicon

---

When you get a chance, please feel free to scroll through the special thanks list below and follow/subscribe to each other to show our SCROLL community some love for everything they do! ⚡💥🔥

Sending my love and appreciation to all of you! Have a great week! 🙏🏻💜💫

Special thanks to 13/1 NYS CONstitution, Aanya Dawkins, Abruptly Biff, Aelred A., AHaiku4U, Ahmed’s Stack of Subs, Ajay Sandoval,Alexander Semenyuk, Alex Eulenberg, Amos, Amy Sukwan, Andrew | Dad Explains, Angela Morris, An K., AnimalSpirits, A Paris Perspective, Apollo's Lyre, April Larson Assi, Arnaly Arriaga Blanco, A. Ship, Asperges, Barbara Wegner, Bardamu, Barry Eby, Baylor Heath, Bhasker Thodla, Bill B, Blessed Warrior Reina, Blue Ridge Barbarian, Boflys, Braeden, Brenton Webb, Brandon Richey, Brandy, Breen Disciple, Brian Knipp, Calvin Perrins, Cameron M. Bailey, Carina Malatesta, Cat, Charlie, Charlie, Charlotte Pendragon, Christopher Cook, Connecting The Dots, Cori Bren, CovertlyObvious, Cygnus X-1, Dakota S., Dave Kunzelman, Dave pearen, Dave Wise, david, David Andersen, David A. Westbrook, David Fox, David Rosenblum, Dawn Bernard, Dee Rambeau, Denise Anderegg, Denise Wandersee, Diane L. Loyd, Domenic C. Scarcella, Dr Tara Slatton, Dudley Newright, Eaton Theodore Poore, Eric, Extreme Groundskeeping, Fallible Father, Fat Ball, faye, Flea Mason, Flippin’ Jersey, FOOL, Frankie Chocolate, Fukitol, GenX1966, Gerda Ho, Goddess Renell, Graham R. Knotsea, Grand Moff Porkins, Grand Schemes, Grimerica Outlawed, HamburgerToday, Helene krohn, Hollis Brown, Howard Fox, Human Beeing, i3utm, Iam Weare, IntergalacticJ, IPR with Mack Morris, Iris Weston, iRobius - The Matrix is Real, Isa Ryan, Jack Everly, Jacqueline Rendell, J. Adam Kane, James, James, James, James, James Costello, James Horton, PhD., James Love-Vani, Jami, Janet Starr Hull, PhD, CN, Javan Bair, Jeff K, Jeff Norris, Jeremy Mercier, Jezz Lundkvist, Jim Amos, Jim Davidson, Jim Veenbaas, João S., Joe Bulls, Joel P, Joel Walbert, John Books, John McWaters, John Mistretta, Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan Epps, Joseph Assi, Joseph L. Wiess, Joshua Wood, Julie, Julie, Julie Hirt, Karen Lynch, Kathrine Elaine, Kelly Harbeson, Ken Macko, Kobalevsky 42, Koltin Scott, Koshmarov, Kristi Hadix, Krononaut, la chevalerie vit, Laggy, Lee Troutman, 🍎 Lefty Lucy, leithian, Librarian of Celaeno, Lily Gatica, Lin 🇺🇸🇹🇴, Lisa Keane, Louise Tozzi, Louis Noble, Love, MaKenna Grace, Martina Anders, Mary, Mason, Storyteller, Matthew Haviland, Matthew Sutcliffe, Maurice Klimek, M. Barbarian, Megan Lee, Melissa Mistretta, Meta Ronin, Michael Hermens, michael holt, Michael Newberry, Michael Woudenberg, Michelle Lobdell, MRT’s Haircut, Nancy Boyd, Nancye, Nate Winchester, Nathalie Martinek PhD, Nico Appel, No Use For a Name, N. Urb, Nur Nadar, ourokouros, Pamela Cummins, Paul Caloca, Paul Rothwell, polistra, Prester John's Revenge, Publius, Publius Americus, Qtto, Randje, Randolph Carter, Randy Lessley, Rat, R.B. Lamb, Refenestrated, Regina Doman, R. H. Snow, ric leczel, Robert C Culwell, Robin George, Roy, Saby Reyes-Kulkarni, Sam Alaimo, Sandolore Sykes, Sasha V, Schweinepriester, Selina Rifkin, Sheila Nawrot, Simone Senisin, Siwan, Smokey, SRC1952, Stacy Boren, Stjarna, Stone Bryson, Strawbridge, striderQED, Suzanne Kelly, Switter’s World, Syd (is not my real name), Taoist Sage, Tea With Liesl, Teófilo de Jesús, Terry Freedman, the author, The Black Knight, The Bone Writer, The Brothers Krynn, The Cazuzo, The Mighty Humanzee, Theodore Atkinson, ThothStudio (JCofMars), Tim Connolly, Timothy Andrew Staples/pop122, Tim West, Trudi Nicola, TurquoiseThyme, Vicky Randle, Vila Mundi, Wendy Porter, Werner Patels, WFSLS_SpecialK, What IS a name, really?, wildflower, William Hunter Duncan, Wolfman, Xeroforhire, Zach Frey, and Zan Tafakari, for inspiring these responses and contributing to the subsequent posts and conversations. And thank you to everyone else who contributed to these conversations over the past few days!

---