Sep 20, 2023·edited Sep 20, 2023Liked by The Starfire Codes
I could be off on this but I feel like those of us who were raised by a narcissistic parent or was the black sheep of the family do not have a problem with this. We were taught to question ourselves so much from such a young age it is just an automatic way of thinking.
It's almost a reflex, isn't it? One of the hardest things to be mindful of, because all it takes is a quick challenge in an unguarded moment and - there we go. It's most embarrassing to have to pull yourself back once you've started getting defensive.
Almost everyone, however thick their cognitive dissonance is, still shows real respect (and surprise!) towards anyone who says "thanks for correcting me, I just learned something!" So, if we keep this in mind, it's actually a great salve to our egos to say things like that. Others think more highly of us, and they will often reciprocate and allow us to teach them something too.
You can sometimes break through someone's cognitive dissonance a bit if you start off the conversation on another topic and let them teach you something. Express an opinion on something you don't know much about, and let them change your mind. They'll then be more likely to reciprocate.
This is excellent writing, as usual. I appreciate the proactive strategies offered to avoid falling for, or falling into, intellectual dishonesty.
I can't help but emphasize the negative and divisive role of social media on intellectual discourse. Though widely acknowledged, no one seems to have any answers as to how to address this insidious phenomenon. Even those who publicly admonish the social machine's nefarious reach, often, in the next breath will blame it all on the "other side." As long as this is the dominant style of discourse, intellectual honesty will suffer.
When I scroll through my various feeds on Substack (present company excluded), Youtube, FB, etc., I see a lot of hate directed at the "other side." Until this manufactured polarization is addressed, I'm not very optimistic. Until people get outside their echo chambers and realize they have more in common with most of whom they perceive as their enemies (aside from the truly delusional) then nothing will change. The business model of elite media, for instance, is to manipulate and divide. Until more people stop falling for this tribalism and start admitting that perhaps their views need some amending or tinkering with, and that other views may have some validity - then it's just groundhog day over and over.
Excellent article. Reminds me of this quote by John Stuart Mill:
“He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion... Nor is it enough that he should hear the opinions of adversaries from his own teachers, presented as they state them, and accompanied by what they offer as refutations. He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them...he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.”
“What is the ironic twist at the end of The Importance of Being Earnest?
Wilde solidifies Jack's morality by having all of his lies become truths at the end of the play. He finds out that he is actually Algernon's older brother and that his name was meant to have been Ernest. Therefore, his two major lies, the creation of a brother and his role-playing as that brother, become the truth.”
Thank you for writing this. I appreciate the focus on thinking wiring conscious and subconscious. It’s relatable for dealing with certain individuals and family members and their repeated patterns of discourse - helps to continue to approach with compassion recognizing how much of the inflexibility is tied to a false self-worth.
Wow, I really love your article. Would you be interested to have this one published in our monthly magazine for October. This is such a valuable article for many people! Thanks for sharing.
I could be off on this but I feel like those of us who were raised by a narcissistic parent or was the black sheep of the family do not have a problem with this. We were taught to question ourselves so much from such a young age it is just an automatic way of thinking.
It's almost a reflex, isn't it? One of the hardest things to be mindful of, because all it takes is a quick challenge in an unguarded moment and - there we go. It's most embarrassing to have to pull yourself back once you've started getting defensive.
Almost everyone, however thick their cognitive dissonance is, still shows real respect (and surprise!) towards anyone who says "thanks for correcting me, I just learned something!" So, if we keep this in mind, it's actually a great salve to our egos to say things like that. Others think more highly of us, and they will often reciprocate and allow us to teach them something too.
You can sometimes break through someone's cognitive dissonance a bit if you start off the conversation on another topic and let them teach you something. Express an opinion on something you don't know much about, and let them change your mind. They'll then be more likely to reciprocate.
This is excellent writing, as usual. I appreciate the proactive strategies offered to avoid falling for, or falling into, intellectual dishonesty.
I can't help but emphasize the negative and divisive role of social media on intellectual discourse. Though widely acknowledged, no one seems to have any answers as to how to address this insidious phenomenon. Even those who publicly admonish the social machine's nefarious reach, often, in the next breath will blame it all on the "other side." As long as this is the dominant style of discourse, intellectual honesty will suffer.
When I scroll through my various feeds on Substack (present company excluded), Youtube, FB, etc., I see a lot of hate directed at the "other side." Until this manufactured polarization is addressed, I'm not very optimistic. Until people get outside their echo chambers and realize they have more in common with most of whom they perceive as their enemies (aside from the truly delusional) then nothing will change. The business model of elite media, for instance, is to manipulate and divide. Until more people stop falling for this tribalism and start admitting that perhaps their views need some amending or tinkering with, and that other views may have some validity - then it's just groundhog day over and over.
Excellent article. Reminds me of this quote by John Stuart Mill:
“He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion... Nor is it enough that he should hear the opinions of adversaries from his own teachers, presented as they state them, and accompanied by what they offer as refutations. He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them...he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.”
“What is the ironic twist at the end of The Importance of Being Earnest?
Wilde solidifies Jack's morality by having all of his lies become truths at the end of the play. He finds out that he is actually Algernon's older brother and that his name was meant to have been Ernest. Therefore, his two major lies, the creation of a brother and his role-playing as that brother, become the truth.”
https://sites.udel.edu/britlitwiki/the-importance-of-being-earnest/#:~:text=Wilde%20solidifies%20Jack's%20morality%20by,that%20brother%2C%20become%20the%20truth.
Thank you for writing this. I appreciate the focus on thinking wiring conscious and subconscious. It’s relatable for dealing with certain individuals and family members and their repeated patterns of discourse - helps to continue to approach with compassion recognizing how much of the inflexibility is tied to a false self-worth.
Honesty really is the best policy. AND some thoughts are best kept private. Sometimes when contentious issues are raised, least said soonest mended.
Wow, I really love your article. Would you be interested to have this one published in our monthly magazine for October. This is such a valuable article for many people! Thanks for sharing.
Warm regards and blessings,
Nick