MEME WARS Episode IX: Attack of THE ALGORITHM
An Exquisite Corpse-Style meme battle between Demi Pietchell of The Starfire Codes and Ratio Bradbornius of Craving Ratio
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THE SAGA CONTINUES….
A memetic mushroom cloud hovers over what's left of the podunk meme saloon.
Demi and Ratio speed away in a neon hovermobile.
"For an all-powerful entity that controls all digital engagement, THE ALGORITHM sure went down smoothly," she says while adjusting the rearview mirror.
"A little too smoothly," Ratio adds. "Remember what THE ALGORITHM said earlier about how it feeds off of our conflict? Entities like that don't just…."
They hear crackling.
The hovermobile's communication system turns on.
"THIS IS YOUR ALGORITHM SPEAKING. ATTENTION CITIZENS OF THE MEMEDRON GALAXY."
They look at each other. Ratio shakes his head and Demi’s eyebrow goes up.
"AN UNEXPECTED DIGESTIVE INCIDENT FOLLOWING MY RECENT ENCOUNTER WITH R2MEME2 HAS LEFT ME TEMPORARILY INCAPACITATED. PLEASE STANDBY WHILE I PROCESS THIS… SHITUATION."
The transmission cuts off.
They hear loud gurgling coming from the sky.
"Wait a minute. Did THE ALGORITHM just admit it has… diarrhea?" Demi asks as she parks the hover car.
Ratio scratches his head. "I think R2MEME2's 'special attack' did more than just stun it. Remember, THE ALGORITHM processes all digital information. If it absorbed R2MEME2's… output… it might have gotten more than it expected."
The communication system crackles again.
"CITIZENS, I APPEAR TO BE EXPERIENCING WHAT YOU ORGANIC ORGANISMS CALL… 'TUMMY TROUBLES.' ALL MEME PROCESSING WILL BE DELAYED UNTIL I CAN LOCATE THE NEAREST COSMIC RESTROOM. PLEASE HOLD YOUR POSTS."
Demi starts laughing. "Wait. Are you saying that the most powerful digital entity in the galaxy can’t even find a bathroom?!"
"ALSO," THE ALGORITHM continues, "HAS ANYONE SEEN WHERE I PUT MY DIGITAL PEPTO? I THINK I LEFT IT IN CLOUD STORAGE."
They look over laughing as R2MEME2 rolls out of the rubble.
He’s somehow completely intact and is whistling and bleeping cheerfully.
"R2!" Ratio calls out. "You amazing little trash can! The Distraction of Digestive Doom actually worked!"
R2MEME2 proudly bleeps at Demi and Ratio.
The whole sky starts flickering and glitching.
"If THE ALGORITHM is having... a shituation...” Demi says, “it could affect the entire digital fabric of reality…."
Indeed, around them, the Memedron Galaxy starts to jitter and sputter.
Memes appear and disappear randomly.
A Grumpy Cat morphs into Nyan Cat and shoots rainbows out of its butt.
That dancing baby from 1996 does the Macarena to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.
Dat Boi rolls by on a unicycle and his face keeps glitching into super rare Pepes.
"We need to get back to the ship," Ratio says. "Luke SkyBlogger might know what to do about this…."
They drive past this massive digital billboard that reads: "THE ALGORITHM WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES…."
They notice three strange ships approaching.
Each one of these ships is shaped like a different social media icon….
TO BE CONTINUED.…
TIME TO VOTE!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!
Ratio - Round One
Demi - Round One
Ratio - Round Two
Demi - Round Two
Ratio - Round Three
Demi - Round Three
 | A guest post by
|
Shituation! Holy balls!
You have a lovely set of memes......