Writing Contest - Sentences I Never Thought I Would Say Or Hear: Volume Four
In Which I Say and Hear All Kinds of Bizarre Things, You Use Those Things As Writing Prompts, and The Winner Takes Glory, Bragging Rights, and a Free Year Of The Starfire Codes on Substack....
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SENTENCES, VOLUME FOUR - THE RULES:
Use one or more of these collected sentences in a story, a script, a piece of original music, or a poem that you write.
No editing the prompts. They must remain intact.
Post a link to the story, poem, music, or script you have written in the comments of this article so I can find them and so that others may enjoy reading these too.
This link you provide will serve as your “entry.”
The link must be listed in the comments of this article below in order to qualify as an entry.
I will read all of these and choose a winner. I am a human being. I promise nothing but my own subjectivity as a judge. It’s the best I’ve got, so it will have to do.
You may comment as much as you like, but only enter one piece for consideration. I only have one me, so unless one of you can clone me, you are only allowed to enter once.
The winner gets glory, bragging rights, and a free year of SFC on Substack.
You have until April 30, 2024, to submit your entry in the comments below.
After that, I will create another post in which I will link all of the entries and announce the winners.
And without further ado, here’s the prompt list for Volume Four….
Sentences I Never Thought I Would Say
This weird incessant earth conjuncting with earth shit really has me off my game this forever.
Who blasts Wilson Phillips???
Eskimos have words for that shit.
Instead, we'll just do faux-German-string-alongs. We should be able to do those in English anyway. We'll just do them in protest. Bringouttheconceptstrings.
I'm not even done with my first coffee yet. I apologize for nothing.
No. Don't make sense of that. If you were going to, stop. If you were thinking, don't. If you thought you might, cut it the fuck out.
MOTHBALLS!!! RUN!!!!!
I was dropped on my slangerator.
I'm apparently slangtarded unless I make up the slang myself.
Since when do you go around being courteous of boulders? Is this where I’ve gone wrong all my life?!?!!?
The body gods has the pissed for thou hast done the stupid.
Someday, when your reciprocal meat suit has a Keanuesque epiphany that triggers a rusty spoongasm, you will know you have broken the wheel of Samsara together. You will be gruntled and you will finally be free….
To be clear, these are not tits.
Paradigm shift!!!
I learned it from Ben Shapiro.
Assholelandia gonna Assholelandia.
They're all like a cringey mass of seething self-flagellating fucktard energy.
It might be alive, it might be breathing, if you poke it with a stick, I can't guarantee you can tell its mouths from its anuses.....
I think Giger is rolling over in his grave having nightmares right now....
I think it needs narration by David Attenborough but he would probably run away screaming in horror.
I can't follow it. It's just a seething lump of blech.
I bet it shits glitter.
I speak fluent mil-dude-trying-not-to-say-shit. So he just grabbed the phone and started not-saying a bunch of shit at me.
I'm fine. I'm just annoyed by repetition. I've learned this lesson. Someone kick the jukebox. It's skipping.
If my higher self doesn't give me spinning walking sickness and kill me off, sure. I'm about to hit that purple crystal above my head with a baseball bat.
They would totes dig slorp.
Train them to carry silver bars back to the house in exchange for slorp. Create a Corvid Slorpconomy.
I was thinking dwarves and then I saw y'all went there and all is right with the world.
Everythingist. Also nothingist. Ismist. Totes.
This is fragile pufferfish-landia.
It doesn't often occur to me to say it. Probably because I'm too busy word-salading to notice.
I missed my calling. I was supposed to be a hired hitman who makes everyone accidentally choke by telling jokes.
Apparently, I'm already a fucking cylon. Whatevs.
Sentences I Never Thought I Would Hear
I’ll be going live again before the tortoise beats the hare on a downhill slippery slope to Plumblossomtown!
Your face is a micro-aggression.
It’s rainsleetsnowice.
My brain is a dark and tangled forest filled with strange trees. And creatures named Chuck.
At least I always know you're going to be honest with me. If I make a joke and you laugh, it's a good joke. If I make a joke and you laugh and then you side eye me and you look like you're going to kill me, it's a GREAT joke... it just might not be suitable for public consumption.
The boat is powered by a flatulent deity.
That has to mean something in some language.
Utter plonkers, the lot of you!
In the absence of any information to the contrary, I am going to assume that you shit glitter.
Y’know—I am glad my wife only has two breasts. Three would give me option-anxiety.
My telomeres are lengthening. My telomeres are lengthening.
What does the fox say?
MARCH 2024 WINNERS:
THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of the participants for playing my game with me and making this an absolute blast!! 🙏🏻💜💫
🎉🥳🎉 Congratulations!!! 🙏🏻💜💫
Special thanks to , , , , , , , , TaoistSage, , and
Oh! I can’t resist this prompt - “Who blasts Wilson Phillips???” 🤩🤩🤩 Im going to have to buy some time to write something! Maybe a song? Music 🎶 I’ll surprise you!
My manager Richard Duryea helped build the Mamas and the Papas career, and he was the road manager for The Beach Boys when he was young. He maintains a close relationship with all the living members.I attended Carnie’s wedding with him back in I think 2000 or so. This is going to be fun!
I love this contest idea, Demi! I'm in the market for a new song. And I can see some good lyrical potential in here: "I'm fine. I'm just annoyed by repetition. I've learned this lesson. Someone kick the jukebox. It's skipping." ;)