Guys, If She's Standing In Her Masculine, It's Because She Feels Like She Can't Trust You To Lead
You Can Find Energetic Balance Or You Can Let It Go. Either One Works.
If she feels like she can’t trust you to lead, it probably means you've been conditioned by society not to stand fully in your masculine and you were probably never taught how to lead from the heart space.
Or you simply do not feel that way toward her.
But it's up to you to fix that. You can heal it or let it go. Either one works.
Once this is repaired, she will feel safe trusting you to lead, and both energies - active and receptive - will find balance and harmony inside of both people.
If she's standing in her masculine, it can also affect her physical health. She's not supposed to live in her masculine and it can literally mess up her biochemistry to do so.
We all have both energies - active and receptive - and pull from them when we need to. So, it might be an energy she steps into when she has to take care of business, but it's not one she should be forced to embody permanently within the home. This is toxic for her. Remaining in this state can make her feel chronically out of balance. This kind of imbalance could even lead to depression or anxiety. Being forced to stand in the masculine can lead to "toxic femininity."
And you might step into a receptive energy when you are gracious and thankful for what someone has given you, but you're likely going to feel uncomfortable being on the receiving end of that energy too much or too long because it gives you no room to compete, to prove, to hone, to build, to act, to demonstrate competency. You start to feel like people think you're incompetent after a while. And when there is no space for you to prove competence and mastery, you might feel like shutting down.
Some of you might balk at this, but it's true. If you don't feel inspired to protect her and provide for her, you should let her go so she can find the one who does feel that way - and conversely, you should wait until you find the one who inspires you to step up and do it.
When you WANT to, she's the right one. When her heart hurts because instead of protecting her out of kindness, she feels like she has to beg or nag you to do it, this is only going to chip away at both of you. She won't trust you to lead if she can't feel safe letting you do so. This is not the right energetic balance.
On the other hand, she should value herself so much that she would never be with anyone who would make her feel like she isn't cherished enough to be honored, protected, and respected.
If she has to beg or nag, she should understand she isn't being valued and she should leave to find someone who will value her, who will make her feel safe, and who will lead from his masculine energy.
I don't believe in toxic masculinity. Not at all. A lack of properly expressed masculinity is what ultimately becomes toxic. A lack of properly expressed masculinity creates a propensity to lie, control, and act otherwise imbalanced in order to compensate.
We have to work together to change this so that men feel comfortable leading within their relationships and women feel safe enough to allow them to. We have to come to a place of mutual trust in order to balance the energies. Without trust, there is no relationship.
Repairing this will produce a state of harmony that feels balanced and correct to the majority of people. Not all, of course. But most, statistically speaking.
WOW!!! Thank you for saying this! It's about time...my marriage fell apart because I had to lead AT ALL TIMES. I also was unappreciated, controlled and I developed bad habits to escape the way it made me feel about myself. Weak men have caused our society to collapse...were surrounded by effeminate men who are incapable of leading they way God intended them to.
Brilliant article!
Thank you. This is a perspective that clearly needs to be shared.
When I witness my partner put himself down or place limits on his abilities, I know it’s a voice stuck in his head from his childhood and rage wells up in me and I want to throat punch whatever bitch put those falsehoods in his head.
I know so many women who put down their husbands, talk behind their backs, bitch and complain about how they do things “incorrectly” or “not good enough” or “not the way I want” and I think to myself - what do these men see in these women? Since when is “my way” the only way to do things? Doesn’t sound like a partnership I want to be in.
Are we not supposed to encourage them and support them and hold them accountable in love?