Huh. OK. Semi-accurate solution. It's so almost-there that it kind of irks me.
I wouldn't try BRIBING Mercury. That's disrespectful and way too low vibrational. The intention here is already bad. That's a no.
Respectfully petitioning Mercury to ask him to allow for your bullshit while in retrograde, however, as long as your bullshit is well intended, would be so much better....
Like, "Hey Mercury, I know my dumbass isn't supposed to be last minute traveling or taking chances with technology or talking to my exes or starting new relationships right now, and I've basically been letting myself get thrown around in the energetic rip current like Source's butt puppet rag doll on crack, but I concede that, so please hear me out...."
Probably just don't do this shit anyway.
Especially not when Freddie Mercury is in Brawndo.
That's the lesson.
Just fucking go within and heal and control yourself and you wouldn't have to go around bribing planet-deities because you'd be solid regardless.
Just... get it.
Use the energies to GO INWARD and HEAL YOURSELF.
We need to keep Mercury out of the Goodwill store shopping for gently used retro styles. I mean…right?
I am just going to sit down and do my meditation practice.